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roily_rogue Oct. 20th, 2010 04:17 pm)
roily_rogue Oct. 20th, 2010 04:17 pm)Am recovering from an extraordinarily aggravating episode of window-washing. Try washing windows with a squeegee and I bet you'll never go back to a spray bottle and paper towels, it says and I only have a bellowing "FUCK YOU" as response to that. Granted, the squeegee I use is attached to the scrubber at the end of a long pole, which means that a: the scrubber releases water every time I use the squeegee, ruining the whole g-d point of it and b: the pole keeps knocking stuff over. Also, we have those horrid plastic strip-blinds that practically no households with any dignity have (but curtains are expensive and prone to cat assaults and our windows are HUGE and we need something) which get in the way when I try to wash the far sides of the panes.
I haven't even gotten around to washing the outsides of the windows. I fear it will be impossible, because we do not own a ladder (our household is extremely poor and we don't know anyone, OK?) and our windows are six feet up on the wall.
And while I'm in a domestic rage, my hanging wandering jews are DYING. How the hell do you kill a wandering jew? I thought they were supposed to be among the sturdiest things on earth? That's partly why I got them! Research tells me that no, it's complicated. See, they need SUN and of course our living room window is facing the wrong way and has this huge-ass portion of the roof sticking out above it, blocking the sun from hanging plants for the majority of the day. Isn't it IRONIC that our living room has huge-ass windows, yet fails to let in enough sun to keep my hanging plants nice and purple??
Also, I read that hanging plants need A LOT of water. At first I used ice cubes, a tip I got on the Internet (Internet, you big prankster you)! But the plants didn't look too good. I thought maybe there was some kind of temperature shock going on, or maybe the cubes didn't release enough water. So I started watering them the regular way and did so every day (hassle, because I have to hang them over the bathtub and then leave them there to drip off). Now I read that that's too much. And you're not supposed to water in the crown, because that makes the roots rot. God, all the ways to kill a plant that people hire people to banish from their yards.
AND you're supposed to TRIM them regularly, or they grow long and spindly with small leaves. Which mine is. So I trimmed down most of the long and spindly parts, which was, unfortunately, most of the plant.
So now it's looking absolutely pathetic.
I could solve the sun problem by putting it in our bedroom window, which seems to get more sun. But we keep the blinds closed there for a reason - I would flash the neighborhood every time I got out of bed. Plus, I got it to brighten up the living room!
WHY IS MY LIFE LIKE THIS. I SWEAR, EVERY LOSER ON EARTH CAN GROW PLANTS AND WASH WINDOWS AND KEEP A DECENT YARD. What is this fucking LOSER GENE I was delivered. It must be from my dad, my mom does things perfectly all the time.
I'm fucking 30 years old and should be a domestic GODDESS by now.
I haven't even gotten around to washing the outsides of the windows. I fear it will be impossible, because we do not own a ladder (our household is extremely poor and we don't know anyone, OK?) and our windows are six feet up on the wall.
And while I'm in a domestic rage, my hanging wandering jews are DYING. How the hell do you kill a wandering jew? I thought they were supposed to be among the sturdiest things on earth? That's partly why I got them! Research tells me that no, it's complicated. See, they need SUN and of course our living room window is facing the wrong way and has this huge-ass portion of the roof sticking out above it, blocking the sun from hanging plants for the majority of the day. Isn't it IRONIC that our living room has huge-ass windows, yet fails to let in enough sun to keep my hanging plants nice and purple??
Also, I read that hanging plants need A LOT of water. At first I used ice cubes, a tip I got on the Internet (Internet, you big prankster you)! But the plants didn't look too good. I thought maybe there was some kind of temperature shock going on, or maybe the cubes didn't release enough water. So I started watering them the regular way and did so every day (hassle, because I have to hang them over the bathtub and then leave them there to drip off). Now I read that that's too much. And you're not supposed to water in the crown, because that makes the roots rot. God, all the ways to kill a plant that people hire people to banish from their yards.
AND you're supposed to TRIM them regularly, or they grow long and spindly with small leaves. Which mine is. So I trimmed down most of the long and spindly parts, which was, unfortunately, most of the plant.
So now it's looking absolutely pathetic.
I could solve the sun problem by putting it in our bedroom window, which seems to get more sun. But we keep the blinds closed there for a reason - I would flash the neighborhood every time I got out of bed. Plus, I got it to brighten up the living room!
WHY IS MY LIFE LIKE THIS. I SWEAR, EVERY LOSER ON EARTH CAN GROW PLANTS AND WASH WINDOWS AND KEEP A DECENT YARD. What is this fucking LOSER GENE I was delivered. It must be from my dad, my mom does things perfectly all the time.
I'm fucking 30 years old and should be a domestic GODDESS by now.
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