The adventures of.

 Yesterday, at work, I was sitting in the breakroom, enjoying my well-deserved chocolate next to a new recruit who was forced to sit through all our instruction videos, when we heard the bathroom door open and the rather large lady who had been in there since I went to buy the chocolate, slowly made her way back, leaning on her cart. She stopped outside the breakroom, staring at the new guy, (I was blocked from view by the angle.)

"Are you an employee?" she said. (I thought "crap, there must be a mess in the bathroom")

"Uhm...not yet, but I will-"

"The Titanic is on the KATU in five minutes!"

"Oh...?"

"You tell everyone!"

"OK."

And that's how he got introduced to working retail.